Saturday, August 17, 2002

Revelations

I'm on the recovery side of Post Traumatic Stress. It used to be that something would occur in my life that would cause a strong emotional response [crying, angry, 'survival mode'], and I didn't know why I was responding so strongly. It confused the hell out of others, too, especially if the response seemed inappropriate for the occurrence [only the people closest to me ever saw it, I was good at hiding it otherwise].

In the last few months I've learned how to talk to myself or 'parent' myself, and now most of the time when I feel a strong emotional response I'm able to calm myself and remember what caused me to respond that way [because it is now safe to do so] - to remember what about that incident caused strong emotional response in the past instead of blocking out the memory [and feelings] again. ... which means reliving some things.

But, reliving it, acknowledging it, and feeling it helps it to go away. It's AMAZING. [seems so simple, doesn't it?] Now that I'm an adult I can comfort my 'child' self and let it go. It's like an avalanche - a very terrible, big, loud yet beautiful thing, and when it's all over with there is ubiquitous peace and the mountain is less burdened for it.

I've been dubbed a 'normal person,' which is a concept that was foreign to me until now, but I'm getting used to it. :-)

Friday, August 16, 2002

... and here's what type I am. Big surprise.

You are a Hippie Chick

The '60s are over, but their legacy of peace and love lives on in you, a genuine, granola-loving Hippie Chick. A fan of flowing skirts, Birkenstocks, and all-natural organic foods, you probably wear your hair long and loose so you can always go with the flow. The rhythm of your life is definitely laid-back and groovy. Genuine and unpretentious, you're a free spirit with a big heart. A Dharma looking for her Greg, after winning your guy's heart, you'll take him on a pilgrimage to Woodstock and make him wear flowers in his hair. And he'll love every minute of it. All in all, you've got just the right mix of idealism and social conscience to keep any guy trippin' over you, right into your arms.

I took a test on emode.com to find out what is my type. The results were interesting! Try it!!!

Your type is the Artiste

Creative. Sensitive. A bit offbeat. Your type is the Artiste, a unique guywho knows how to express himself in many ways, whether it's through words,music, or attire. You're attracted to his unconventional ways and hisremarkable talents. He doesn't feel compelled to abide by society's norms.He believes that individuality is the key to happiness, and everything hedoes is a reflection of his "inner self." You fall head-over-heels for suchconfidence and style. Whether he's playing a song he wrote for just you orwriting you a love letter, this guy knows how to make you feel special. He'sin touch with his feminine side and doesn't need to assert his masculinityto feel manly. If we were to paint a picture of your future, the Artistewould definitely be part of it!