Friday, August 23, 2002

Things are looking up.

I finally got the nerve to call my friend [who I pissed off] last night. I had sent him an apologetic email three days ago and hadn't heard a peep out of him. So, figuring we both had a chance to cool down and that it was time to do something about it instead of letting it fester, I decided to suck it up and call.

I got the answering machine. Don't you just hate it when that happens? You totally psyche yourself up to finally do something about something and you hit a brick wall. Yes, I left a message. I hope it sounded warm and not too upset.

It must have been okay, because I got an email from my friend this morning. He said he would have called back last night but he got in real late. I thanked him for not calling me at 2 am. hee hee. I hope I get to talk to him today.

Then I bopped over to emode.com and took an emotional IQ test so that I could figure out how to avoid pissing people off in the future. I found out that I see people very clearly, that I usually behave very maturely and responsibly, but I don't always pay attention to clues they give me about *their* emotional selves. Ah. There's the weak link. I got some advice about how to improve that skill, so I'm going to work on it. It's going to take practice, and I'm going to have to remind myself that not everybody deals well with observations and criticism no matter how well-intentioned it is. My best advice to myself is: If they don't ask, don't tell, and even if they DO ask, gauge the person's ability to deal with feedback FIRST and don't be brutally honest if they can't take it.

I think I'm on my way to becoming a better human being. I'm trying, at least.

Thursday, August 22, 2002

I had a bit of a trippy experience last night. A guy I've had lunch with a few times called me up yesterday morning and asked me to dinner. So, I got dolled up a bit and got to ride in the big Mercedes to La Jolla. I don't know if you've ever been there, but La Jolla Cove is really neat to walk around in. There is a family of seals that live in the cove so we walked down to see them.

The path to get there is this really skinny railed sidewalk that's way up above the surf. We were laughing and talking on the way down to see the seals and we had to make our way past a Filipino family that was coming up up the sidewalk. Right in the middle of this family group was a guy I had dated for a while when I first got here who led me on to the point of intimacy and then told me he was going to go visit his ex girlfriend in New Mexico the next week [Yes, he was promptly dumped]. He looked really unhappy, wasn't with a girlfriend, and didn't say hi. Life is funny sometimes.

I had a pretty good time. My date is interesting, affluent, artistic, gentlemanly within reason, attractive, well-off enough to have financed a 40-minute movie that he directed and edited himself, takes care of his geriatric mom, exotic, a celebrity in his community, and I don't feel a thing for him but curiosity. It makes no sense at all. Yep. Life is really funny sometimes.

Wednesday, August 21, 2002

Life Happens

So I put my wee one on a plane back to his daddy yesterday. It's been a long time since I've cried in public. I was a blubbering idiot for a couple of hours. I managed to make it through the work day, but productivity was really low on my part.

I also managed to piss off a friend. I'm learning that it's better to just agree with some people when they argue for their limitations and self-perceptions instead of trying to convince them otherwise. I hope we can resolve this one.

To top off my lovely day, I went to my favorite little pub for a glass of wine and conversation and ran into a couple of the local boys there. They asked me to go to Pete's with them right down the street and since I had never been I agreed to go. It's a dive. I would never go in there alone. I noticed a guy across the bar from where we were all sitting who I had met before in my little pub. He made quite an impression on me back then - he was leaving as I was coming in. He said hi and walked out the door. Two minutes later he walked back in and right up to me and introduced himself and told me that he just had to come back in and meet 'this beautiful lady' and apologized that he had to leave. I thought that was pretty cool. So, I noticed him and he noticed me in this dive and we kept making eye contact throughout the evening.

Eventually, the local boys decided to go get stoned and I declined the invitation as usual, which left me all alone in this dive. I was getting ready to get out of there when 'the guy' invited me over to help him choose some music on the jukebox. It was our first opportunity to really talk to each other. Chemistry. Pure chemistry. He smelled so good. He's one of those people who naturally does, and he accented it with Patchouli. I can't remember what we talked about exactly, but there was definitely mutual interest and compatability.

We talked about half an hour before he finally told me that when he had introduced himself to me a couple of months ago he was single and he was now seeing someone. I told him that I appreciate his honesty and left.

I'm glad I'm starting school soon. It will be a lovely way to get a life.