Thursday, March 13, 2003

First fight over. Man, I'm looking forward to when we finally get to make up. :-) It won't be this weekend because of his crazy schedule. I'm really kind of bummed about that. I don't think I'll feel right until I see him in person again and I can be held in his arms and reassured a bit.

It was resolved well, which is a good sign - and means that future fights are likely to be resolved well, too. That's the most important thing. I was so releived to hear from him that I spilled my coffee all over the place and started crying. I'm really crazy about this guy.

Tuesday, March 11, 2003

Okay. First fight. Things are not going well. At this point, I've done everything I can to remedy it. The ball is in his court. If you start seeing entries every day, then you know it's probably taken a turn for the utmost worst.

Work is kicking ass. I've hired eight additional people, and may be bringing in two more depending on workload. It's a little overwhelming at times, but I'm handling it. Delegation is my friend.

I don't know which direction I'm going in right now. I'm going in circles, I guess. I'm in orbit around my aching heart. It's keeping me tethered to the pain. I think I'm going to have to pick up a bottle of vodka on the way home from class or I'm not going to be able to sleep again. I haven't slept since Sunday. I can't eat much at all. Everyone at work is noticing that I'm sad - sometimes I hate wearing my emotions on my sleeve, but I do, and I have always done so. I wouldn't know how to hide an emotion if my life depended on it.

The ball is in his court and I'm playing the waiting game. Thank gods I'm in class. (The one I was wondering why I was in last time.) I need to keep my time filled or I will go crazy. I'm already planning on what I'm going to do tomorrow after work in case I'm still getting the cold shoulder: get nails done, call the kid, do homework ...

Okay, break time is over ...