Thursday, May 12, 2005

It's been two weeks since I've received the papers summoning me to Michigan to fight for custody of my son. I really haven't had much time to prepare (and I wonder if that's by design). Since the day I received the papers, I've been very busy: I've closed escrow on my house, moved, called two lawyers who won't return my call, and worked overtime every work night late into the night and at least one day on the weekends.

So, just now in between tasks at work, I finally found a moment to cry. Silently, of course. God forbid someone in cube land hear me and complain that I'm making too much noise.

I did a meditation earlier this week, and that made me feel a lot better. I was able to speak to deity and quietly listen for advice. This helped more than anything, I think. This, and the fact that mi novio has been so supportive and loving. I'm a lucky girl.

Every once in a while I'll realize how close the court date is and a moment of panic will sweep over me. I feel so unprepared. Fortunately, on a friend's advice, I contacted the Michigan bar association and they recommended a really good family law attorney. His receptionist was very kind and promised that he would call me back tomorrow. This is such a relief. I would hate to go into this without understanding what to expect or without knowing how to properly introduce evidence to a judge. How terrible it would be to screw this up due to ignorance.

I prayed really hard this week. I held a ritual the other night and prayed that truth will reign that day. Truth and justice. By fire, and wind, and sea, and stone.

It's in the hands of the Universe, now. Between the loving support of my mate, prayers, and good energy from friends, I think I'll be okay. Blessed be.