Thursday, August 23, 2007

Ok. I'm losing perspective, so it's time to journal.

I'm sitting in this cube, and I've been here for eight hours already, nine if you don't count lunch, and I just can't get my brain wrapped around this mundane boring crap I have to do. Hanging above me is all of the other crap I have to do, which may be more exciting but it's lower on the priority list. And I'm tired. I'm freaking tired. I'm trying to get used to this new schedule. I work 9 hours a day and then I take class two night a week for two hours, which puts me home around 9:30 PM. I have about 2 hours between the end of work and class, so I'm trying to plan some physical things to do between then. Don't know how that's going to work out, though. After class on Monday I had so much homework that I had to finish it at the library before class on Wednesday.

I need somebody to delegate some tasks to, but my team is swamped as it is, and I have no budget for an additional person. I don't know what to do, because I can't work tons of overtime.

Nope, I'm not done whining, yet.

My kitty Diego is still missing. It's been over a week, now, and no sign of him. I have all of the neighbors on alert, but nobody has seen him. I'm so heartbroken. I've been to the animal shelter several times. I always cry when I go there. one, because my kitty isn't there and two, i want to take every animal home.

My sweetie is in Arizona with family because his sister just had surgery and his aunt is in the hospital. He won't be back until Sunday, which means I have to suck it up and keep things together.

And, my mom is still grieving and dwelling over my brother's death and the fact that she wasn't able to get there in time for the funeral. OMG, there are so many factors here that are royally jacked up, and she's got things way out of perspective. Normally, I would run out to see her and try to bring her back around to reality, but I really need some downtime this weekend. I mean *really*.

I'm feeling overwhelmed, but not hopeless. That's bad and good. Overwhelmed is ok, but I have a handle on it and I know it won't last forever. I still hate to ask for help, but I know that I can't do it all alone, so I suck it up and ask. I just wish I had better people skills so that the things I say come out as I mean them to be and not how they sound.

And on that note, I need to pull it together for one more hour. And then, home. And my kitty Scar. And homework. And maybe some dinner.